Mix Tape

1. Is There Anyone Here? - Eulogies
2. Rejazz - Regina Spector
3. Come Around - M.I.A.
4. Leader of the Pack - Mapei
5. Bonita Applebum - Tribe Called Quest
6. Electric Twist - A Fine Frenzy
7. Drama - Erykah Badu
8. Re: Stacks - Bon Iver
9. Give It Up - Amos Lee
10. I Wanna Be Your Lover - Prince
11. True - Spandau Ballet
12. Thank You - Dido
BONUS: One More Time - Daft Punk

"You shall no longer take things at second or third hand, ...You shall
not look through my eyes either, ...You shall listen to all sides and
filter them for yourself." - W.W.

-I hate juice.

-I hate juice.
*Okay Hitler, please. Drink your juice; I'm tired, I wanna go to bed.
-Just--you know what? Get the juice out of here; out of this house,
out of this country. Now.
*Hitler, get the jui--whadduh you want me to do...
-Put the juice in camps and seperate them.
*Put the juice in camps. Hitler, whadduh you want me to do seperate
them by like flavor, by like, concentration...
-Concentration...huh.
"You shall no longer take things at second or third hand, ...You shall
not look through my eyes either, ...You shall listen to all sides and
filter them for yourself." - W.W.

Revolutionary Road

Because, you see, life is like a skating rink, an iced out path, a
river frozen over in an eternal winter. And as children we skate upon
it, taking the risk, living uninhibited by the rules. What ARE the
rules? But the ice is thin in places unknown. Every now and again one
child falls through. The ice is broken by the weight of their
courageous soul and. They fall. Deeper. And deeper into the chilling
water, drowning, losing touch with reality, asking for air, for the
chance to see the light again but. Then they float. Up, up, emerging.
The lucky once open their eyes to see a lone crow sailing ahead,
seeing the trees shiver and moan, feeling the bitter, sharp wind on
their face. But they are just that, the lucky. All others find
themselves colliding with a hard, dense matter which cannot be
penetrated easily, or for the matter, with even much difficulty. The
ice has blocked them in, and of God they may see the lone crow above,
and barely make out the sillohette of the trees, but they are beneath
the surface and without the air, that harsh wind, beautiful because
feeling it means your alive. Yes, they have emerged, but into what? A
perminant state of drowning? A mock reality, where you can see but
cannot feel? What is it worth? It is as if the masquerade has become
life and the showing of the natural born face an unorthodox practice.
But not all forget that breaking throught the ice is impossible. No,
because the sun has shown on those who break through with a massive
force only capable by a fierce determination to live. Fists emerging,
elbows, head ragging passionate for life. They cause the sun to shine
and melt away the ice. And don't you realize that if more would do the
same that the ice might melt completely and never return? That there
may be a day when none shall even know that it was possible to be
trapped under the ice, for it is nonexistent? And roam free without
care. As those children on the ice rink once did.

"You shall no longer take things at second or third hand, ...You shall
not look through my eyes either, ...You shall listen to all sides and
filter them for yourself." - W.W.

Why Are Women Such A**holes?

Seriously. My friend Chelsea and I where watching TV* and she asked the question. I can't seem to find a reason. Is it merely because we're women? But then heading over to the guys...why do you guys put up with the jerky assholettes? Do you think it's cute? Does it turn you on in some twisted way? I mean, it's just disfunctional. And I'm not a fan of disfunctional.

*The TV show was Reasons To Be Pretty, which, as it turns out, wasn't a television show at all, yet instead a play. Thanks Chels.

Bells and Whistles: The Extras Come Included

So I've been using my summer vacation '010 (WOOT!) to re-think my life. My life, as in, what colleges I want to pursue, what books I wanna read, and what activities I want to be apart of before I'm officially a SENIOR:) in the fall.
I've decided that I'll stay in-state for my undergrad degree...
Which hurts my soul dearly, believe me. I want nothing more. Than to Leave. Georgia!
But it looks like that dream won't be realized for another FOUR years. O well. I'm thinking about seriously double-majoring, which apparently is a harrowing feet of unspeakable dimensions (people say it's impossible, whatever). Or else I'll major in Psychology or something, and minor in theatre. But. I refuse to give up the arts. I will major or minor in an art. Preferably theatre.
I am wondering what will happen to my vocal endeavours...
I have books!! Can I just list them first?

*Life of Pi by Yann Martel (Required Summer Reading)

*An Acrobat of the Heart by Stephen Wangh

*Being and Nothingness be Jean-Paul Sartre

*How to Be an Adult by David Richo

*Audition by Michael Shurtleff

*The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason

*Going After Cacciato by Tim O'Brien

...& more!

Ha, that looks like and advertisement. These are all books I haven't read or haven't finished and I am going to finish them this summer. What a challenge...yum.

OMG.
So I auditioned for this summer program and made it--so exciting. It's the first summer program I've ever done and it's acting! Doesn't get better, I swear. Because it's also FREE. It's called the Collision Project and it's being hosted at the Alliance Theatre in Atlanta. I don't know much about the details of the program, except that they invite 17-27 teenagers from around the area to write and direct a play structured around the them of a classic text. It's all about "colliding" ideas and movements to make a show, and at the end, we tour a few high schools with our show. I'm so glad that I'm gunna stay active in acting this summer, since I love it, and it's what I wanna do. And YAY YAY YAY, I get to act with an all new crowd. This is gunna be awesome...
Enneagrams. I'm starting to believe I'm a 5/4...
As in, my ennneagram personality type is a core 5 with a 4 wing of influence. I used to thing I was a core 4 with a 5 wing of influence. But I want to read up on all of the personality typings now. This thing is like the Myers-Briggs personality typing--in fact, they are directly related. Where Myers-Briggs tells you what the dominant characteristics of your personality are, the enneagram system explains why you poses such traits, your recessive characteristics (wing of influence), and the level at which you function (healthy, average, unhealthy). So, it's a fantastically more in-depth look at personality typing, involving steps to integration to achieve a balance of all types. It's fun! I love it and it is very insightful...I'll probably end up talking about this every time I post...
Well, I am working on working more efficiently so I should go. And do some other things I'd like to do. Like live. :)

Multiracial Hair

So I decided to get a book about mixed people and see what other people feel like. And now I feel like I'm melo-dramatic//

Melodrama: 1. a drama, such as a play, film, or television program, characterized by exaggerated emotions, stereotypical characters, and interpersonal conflicts.

2. behavior or occurences having melodramatic characteristics.

The book turned out to be a whine fest; so far, it's only multiracial kids complaining about not fitting in. And being descriminated against. And it's not what I wanted at all. I mean, I've only read about 30 pages in...maybe it changes. But what I was hoping for was. Deeper analysis of the multiracial. Critical essays from young multiracial people. How they feel about being mixed. What their life is like, in detail, not just surface level. Not "Everybody envies me because I'm mixed" or "I hate when people ask me what race I am (but secretly I like it)". That's baby stuff. That's middle school. What I want is an intellectual analysis. I want it to be beyond.. Stereotypical. I want it to be. Not racial. Which doesn't make proper sense. But I want it to be better. When I read these stories about sensitive mixed people, I hate it. Because I feel as if it were a reflection of me. I'm not weak. And I don't pitty myself because of my race. Which would be an elementary school of thought. "BOO HOO, I'M THE VICTIM". It's so stupid and un-true. Maybe that's why I hate it, because it isn't the truth. Not for me. I don't even think about my racial identity. Maybe I should write something.

P.S. I don't know why I felt melodramatic. I think I was talking about the last post I made?

I do tend to over-exaggerate. Like this post.

Incorrect Association Methods

So I was depressed about not making GHP. It's this summer camp for students in Valdasta, Georgia, at Valdasta State University, six full weeks, and free. It's said to be awesome. It's said to be life changing. It's effing free. And I didn't make it. I got through the first audition but the second one was not for me. I guess. I wanted to go. I was pissed when only one person made it. and it wasn't me. Because I think I'm unique and different and deserved to go more than anybody. And I think it's a good thing that I didn't go. Because I'm a mild racist and on the Valdasta GHP website there was nothing but pictures of skinny white people. And I feel left out around large hoards of white people. And black people. And asian people. I wish there were large hoards of multiracial people, like obviously multiracial, not "I'm Swedish-Irish with a German grandma"; that's still white. Or "I'm 1/16 Semoian, my mamma thinks she's dominican, and my daddy's grandpa was Nigerian", that's still black. I mean "I'm Mexican-African-American" or "I'm Korean-French-Native American" or mulotto, or black&somethingelseobviously. I want multiracial friends. I don't have any. And I feel isolated everyknow and then.

Nobody to relate to.

But it's not dramatic or dire or serious it's just me.

No, it's not important.

I just want it.

not being sarcastic.

It's so dark now I can't see my keyboard.

I don't need to see it, but you know.

Where is everyone?

I'm in a dark house alone.

Oooooooooo. The sun is setting...

I went to go watch it.

I was wondering what it would be like to do gruetosky out there.

Peanut, Peanute Butter...

AND JELLY !

yumm. I just ate a sandwhich and it was delicious.

I'm gunna right a few more posts so this one doesn't get outrageously long.