Not A Fan Of (Unecessary) Work

I have got to seriously learn how to better manage my TIME! I'm crazy about leaving stuff off 'til the last minute, and then when it comes time to present the product, I've gotta stay up all through to the witching hours of never ending morning and through together some random crap and say "oh yeah, took me weeks to pull this thing together", completely ignoring the fact that I called my budd last night and told them all about my porcastination and how I was never gunna finish it and I would be dead meat by tomorrow. It always turns out, though, in my favor. I have a nitch for last-minute-surprises, and it's almost always a major grade hanging delicately in the balance. I can't say it's right, but oh dear charolette, I'm good. And of course, at the end of every school year lies a fresh start. A clean slate. A new beginning, far from the old ways of procrastination that I love and cherish. And come summer, I have a renewed since of motivation to change my evil ways, "I'm so gunna do summer eading like waaaaaaaaay before summer's over, even the journal assignment. Oh yeeeaaah." So tell me, friend, school starts when? In less than a week. I'm on page 18 of 343 and have got one journal entry out of 25 in the bag. Totes, I'm gunna max out the next few days, and not even worry about it. At least not until the night before school starts.

Imaginary Circumstances

Not much going on in my world, to tell the truth, just adjusting to a new home. No furniture, just the electronics--TV and desktop. Well, so far any ways. So for the past week, and probably for the next two, we've been floormates without even a mattress or comforters to make the illusion of a some-what bed. (Good thing I stole a blanket from the hotel.) But that's what the kitchen counter tops are for when the floor gets too familiar a place to lay my head. I'm really loving the idea that I can finally paint my room. After so much long anticipation of this very moment, I'm at a lose as to what color I want...doesn't life always seem to work out like that? Well, mine. I think I am going to loose a part of myself in the process of completing summer reading. I don't hate the book choices, but I just can never get around to doing the whole "shut up and read" thingamajig. It's just in my DNA to rebel against any kind of work required during down time, and summer is my ultimate down time. I'm too lazy to do it, and I'm gunna have to force the work, the creative juices. I hate forcing things. Like acting like you wanna go to a party your friend invited you to, when your stomach is knotting up just thinking about walking through that door, and your mind is steady thinking up ways to get out of this trap you stepped right into. And on a bluer note, I can't seem to put my finger on who is hi-jacking my thoughts. Is it a mystery? I think it's my own creation, a figment of what could only be my imagination. I wish it was someone I knew, like an interesting fellow from not exactly a certain place, but with so much person you wouldn't even mind, and even the stylish tendencies of a European model. He could be a somebody or a nobody or an artist or (not a heroine addict!) a philosopher, a poet, even a rocker. I just want to believe I will know them some how this semester, after summer waves goodbye and I'm left in the dust, just me, school, and the world. This guy is clouding my thoughts and he's disrupting my natural flow, and I can't help but think, "Are you real already?". Maybe the love that my friends feel is pouring over into my very own subconscious, which is now some how finding its way into my conscious thoughts. Whatever my soul has chosen to do with my emotions, I wanna see it. I wanna open my eyes and realize I wasn't dreaming the whole thing up in my head. And there it is. Thank you, that's it. That's it. I've got to look for him. Bam, that just happened.

*

*

*

Photograph by RomanceXGirl (edited by Maariyah Faa'izah)